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ok, so i'd like to know your real opinion. can someone be a lesbian there whole life without knowing it? or can you just one day become a lesbian?
heres the thing. i never thought of myself as a lesbian. i could appreciate the beauty of a woman but didn't really desire any sexual contact with women. i have been in happy, satisfying relationships with men in the past. but then one day i met a girl who i was totally attracted to and didn't understand why. i tried to fight it but then gave in and now 5 months later we're still together and i can't imagine being with a guy again. i still think men are attractive but more in the way i used to view women. its like the roles have switched. i now meet other women and find myself attracted to them.
do you think this is a phase? or something more? i'm not too worried about trying to define myself; i don't need a label. i am just curious if others have experienced something like this or what people think of this kind of situation.
heres the thing. i never thought of myself as a lesbian. i could appreciate the beauty of a woman but didn't really desire any sexual contact with women. i have been in happy, satisfying relationships with men in the past. but then one day i met a girl who i was totally attracted to and didn't understand why. i tried to fight it but then gave in and now 5 months later we're still together and i can't imagine being with a guy again. i still think men are attractive but more in the way i used to view women. its like the roles have switched. i now meet other women and find myself attracted to them.
do you think this is a phase? or something more? i'm not too worried about trying to define myself; i don't need a label. i am just curious if others have experienced something like this or what people think of this kind of situation.
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Re: new lesbians?
Thu, February 22, 2007 - 6:33 AMI think the bi aspect of who you are just emerged is all.
It was always there, just hiding til the right time.
I have never met anyone who just woke up a lesbian or gay
person after years of being straight. -
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Re: new lesbians?
Thu, February 22, 2007 - 8:57 PMIt's very interesting, as I had a somewhat similar experience.
As a kid I always knew I liked boys and girls. As I got older, I fantasized about both, but only pursued men because, frankly, the option of dating women just hadn't occured to me yet. And although I usually enjoyed sex with men, something was missing. It's a very distinct feeling, and at first I thought it was just a feeling that was natural. Part of the experience. But then I fell in love with a woman who excited me in a way I had never experienced with a man. That sexual "something is missing" feeling was gone and so I figured I was gay.
I had just gotten out of a relationship with a man, my best friend, after 8 years. Everything was near perfect with him, minus the sex problems. After dating a woman it became clear to me that I'm not straight. So what am I? I guess that like everyone else, somewhere on the Kinsey scale! I try not to label myself, or others, and just let my feelings happen without over-intellectualizing them. If it's a man or a woman, then that's the way it is.
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Re: new lesbians?
Fri, February 23, 2007 - 3:52 AMSo maybe you're bi? When I came out it was more of a realization that I am more emotionally attached to women than men. I have no interest in men for anything other than friends. I did date men, but didn't understand why these gals bent over backwards for them. Then I had a relationship with a woman and understood why straight women do laundry, cook extravagent meals, put up with their b.s....etc. for their men. I didn't label myself as lesbian, I just didn't have any deep relationships.
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Re: new lesbians?
Fri, February 23, 2007 - 6:44 AMLauren, i think that you did not just wake up one day and become a lesbian. The feelings that you feel for girls has always been there in a more or less aspect. I think that you probably suppressed it unconsciously or maybe you never fully realized it was there. No mater what you label yourself, the important thing is that you're happy. Never deny what you may feel for anyone because you might deny true love.
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Re: new lesbians?
Fri, February 23, 2007 - 10:10 AMmaybe sometimes it can seem like you just woke up one day and became a lesbian, but in reality you have been having those feelings deep down ever since you were probably a little girl.
i understand, being as i just recently came out to my best friend and she was like, " what you just decided to become a lesbian?" and i had to explain that i have been being with women since i was 18 or so...but that as i really mature i am figuring out that i dont want men at all. i am sexually attracted to girls. to her it seems like i just started being with women one day, but to me it was like a natural progression towards what i really want in my romantic/sexual life.
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Re: new lesbians?
Wed, March 7, 2007 - 9:10 PMSexuality is fluid. You go for a person with certian traits that appeal to you, whether they own a vagina under their clothes or a peepee, they have those traits that you desire in a mate.
